another "MJ is dead" post from a different angle

OK! within the first 18hrs of MJ's death, the blogs that newly posted had MJ as the subject. To be frank, I dint read most thoroughly cos i assumed the content(condolences and ish)

Over to Facebook, most if not all updates were about MJ's passing on. I have not probs with them but some status updates are just way too sentimental for me to read.

check out updates like

"Bob Marley, Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls, Elvis Prestley, Fela, Kurt Corbain, and now Michael Jackson. There ain't any living legends left... Jay Z, Elton John, and Stevie Wonder; beware"

BREAKING NEWS.... MICHEAL JACKSON IS NOT DEAD... HE WAS FOUND IN THE MIDDLE EAST YESTERDAY...AND GUESS WHAT .... HE IS NO LONGER WHITE... HE IS NOW AS BLACK AS .................the blackest thing u can think of.

That's just sad. The immaturity, not-knowing-when-something-is-serious and supposed humor of some people can be pathetic.

Over to the global music industry, some musicians are making tributes for MJ. Some of these musicians were even anti-Mj during MJ's lifetime.

RIP MJ and thank you for inspiring my successful artists.

PS: I did not know Farrah Fawcett until the news of her death. I hope she finds solace wherever she is.

confession time! fart?

oh Blogger!
My post just disappeared, unpublished for that marra.

ok! my intended post:
I even forgot the title of my blog, "True Confessions."

I had a bagel and coffee this morning.

5 mins to a meeting, I felt a possibly loud fart travelling down my pelvic. For dignity sake! that fart came at a wrong timing. Like my colleagues were hovering around my table checking a mag, so they were really close. I don't like when pple fart around me, except it doesn't smell. Infact, I don't just like it all

I just contracted my hip muscles, forced a smile and prayed for the fart to stay in. But how does bagel and hazel-nut flavored coffee make u fart? na beans! I cudn't even stand up to excuse myslef to the bathroom sef cos the fart had reached the stage that once I change position, it wud pop.

I held the thing for 15 secs oh until something else diverted their attn. I jejely farted and spontaneously opened a nutri-gram wrap(to cover up the sound).

That's not even the funny part. one of my colleagues just made a joke publicly about a guy that farted loudly in the bathroom.

pheww! I narrowly escaped being d subject of a joke.

The Chrihanna verdict!

This happened earlier today.

[Live Stream from outside of courthouse has ended}

Chris Brown arrived to court just a few minutes ago in an all gray suit, his entourage, and his lawyers. Rihanna has not yet arrived but she is indeed set to be called to testify. Trial is set to start at 5p EST. There are whispers that Chris’ lawyers and the prosecution were behind closed doors this morning banging out a plea deal that could be announced very soon.

Keep it locked….

5:09p EST: Breaking from inside the courtroom: Chris Brown’s attorney

says a plea deal has been reached in the singer’s felony assault case.

5:11p EST: PLEA DEAL DETAILS: Chris plead GUILTY to felony assault. He gets 5 years probation and must check in with judge every 3 months. Deal for Assault charge

: 180 days of hard labor (like street cleanup) and ordered to stay completely away from Rihanna. He’s also been ordered to enroll in domestic violence counseling.

6:11p EST: Post has now been updated with a sketch of Rihanna who was in attendance. She only entered the court room after Chris left. Chris Brown is now a convicted felon–meaning it’s on his permanent record and he cannot vote or carry a concealed weapon. He must stay 50 yards away from Rihanna for the next 5 years. If they happen to be at the same event, he must stay 10 yards away. And vice versa. Chris will serve no jail time.

PS: Credit goes to theybf.com

Ok, NaijaShawty's side of the story. What can I say sef? This story has so much scoin scoin but the sketched sideview of Rihanna really cracks me up buh she still looks hawt/haute/hotttt.

Happy Mothers' Day! say what?

yes, i know today is fathers' day. fathers' day to the men, who deserve the title.

so, i just talked with my practical father, who called to check up on me and called me back cos i told her earlier that i was a kinda lonely. i use "she' cos i am referring to my mother.

my mother has been the one to fill both parental positions. i call her a "woman warrior." like the legendary "Fa Mu Lan", she has fulfilled both the maternal and paternal roles.

we grew up together and learnt how to play the game of life.
i remember the times I have been given the non-custodial parent form.
a form that is meaningless in naija.
a form that arouses all those suppressed emotions.
emotions that remind me of the paternal vacuum in my childhood.
shud i blame those officers. no! i shud blame the black sheep, my supposed father, of the male species for messing up.
no papa! shi kana(sp?)!

but i got a mama. the mama,
who has been best thing mother nature has offered me.
who told me that every good trait of mine is from her genetic blah blah, she's so proud of me

Shame to the man, who is but doesnt deserve to be called my father. but i recognise his effortless contribution to my success. becos at the back of my mind, i know i inherited some of his intelligent genes to be an outstanding A student.

to those who have fathers, who haven't been dumb-dicks like mine, lucky u! appreciate them cos i know the worth of what u've got. today is ur day to show ur dutiful fathers how much u love them.
and if by chance, u are in the same shoes as mine, move on like u were meant to have only one parent and appreciate ur mother.

so, NaijaShawty has a female, as her father in her life,
today, i say "Happy Mothers' day!!!"

adieu to Kay!

oh Kay! he tried to rock my boat. but i am sorry it dint work.
I have come to realise that, most guys that like me take steps similar to Kay's, such as
being too clingy: puhlease, free me abeg. Kay is not too guilty of this sha cos we jam on the road like we are mere acquaintances
awkward jokes, that are usually pun-intended: haha, this is Kay's specialty. if u know him like I do, u wud code his jokes v.well
seeking for closed spaces: an excuse to take advantage of a girl's vulnerability.
not trying at all to impress me or trying toooo hard to impress me: i am kinda traditional with this. i like guys impressing me unintentionally. i dont want guys who blab abt their achievements. okay, it seems Kay knows this. so, he doesnt even try at all

Reference: Most of my recent posts are epistles of my encounters with Kay.

I mean, we started to hang out one nite, after a long while. I admit that I may have been looking forward to spooning but Kay expected me to have sex with him. I think that is just ridiculous. Maybe I presented myself fuck-and-not-mind(get?) girl by going to the extent of taking my clothes off. I expected him to know the kind of my morale after 2 semesters of knowing each other.

Also, like most crushes, i am not feeling Kay anymore sef. seeing him too often and his creepiness with some other girls are just turn-offs. I have the feeling he still likes me cos he always has something casual to say to me indirectly.

I know I deserve something better, yes! and I can wait.

PS: My feelings are two-sided, I can go from tripping to nada in two seconds

Happy loving blogsville.

For Gossip Girl ardent watchers, feed ur eyes.

I learnt Little J ie jenny Humphrey in GG has a rock band in real life. she prolly got some skills from her GG father


haha, see chuck!
who knew he is this hot.

xoxo
u know u love him

maybe i need an apartment

u guys wonder why i need an apartment. not for privacy oh, ok something like that. this is not funny. the girl living next door brought her bf over. i mean, he just came 2 hrs ago and he is staying for the wkend. lemme just chill in my rum oh like a good girl. odikwa, impossible!

guess the babe's gf is banging her like there is no tomoro. how do i know?!? the walls are kinda thin, the bed is screeching and rising and falling moans are interrupting the movie that i am watching. like seriously? i think i can call dis live audio porn. presently, i mean lite rite now that i am typing this post, they are discussing sex. i hope this wud not continue thruout the wkend cos i need a clean head. i cant help buh picture the couple, i am sure there is a diff of 2ft btw their heights. ok, i am single and listening to a couple doing ish can only make emotionally smhw buh i am happy for the babe sha. she is catching her fun with someone she really likes. haha, i remember me and Kay.

yes, update on him. i have seen him a couple of times. early mormor today, i was like lemme go downstairs and do something. as in, i was in a short skirt, tank top, pantyhose, flip flops and unbrushed hair. so, i was semi-ready to go to work. who did i jam? Kay. i was just like "hey" and he mumbled something cos he was grubbing. i passed him but i cud feel his eyes behind me. so, i guess he was thinking "mi a nuh why she be cute" in his jamo brain.

college has so enlightened me, i am still a small girl oh. if i get an apartment, wudn't my life be much easier. on the other hand, my pocket wud not conveniently accommodate the rent's bill and i wud be bored or worse still, end up with a psycho housemate.

again? Kay wan fall my hand oh

my beloved readers, hopefully here is a part(prolly the end) to the gist, continued from here(teaser), started from here(genesis).

story contd....

massage over. we were entangled in the side-by-side position. by we, i mean Kay and I; by side-by-side, u better be thinkin' what i am thinkin'. our bodies fitted like two missing parts of a jigsaw puzzle. even if i had to taste the gum in his mouth. what kind of guy leaves gum in his mouth. well, Kay! odikwa, a risky guy dealing with a riskier shawty. for the record, Kay and I belong to the same school of thought that believes 'whatever is worth doing is worth doing well" damn! he is a great kisser. for an unhealthy %age of the time, we were kissing and it was fab.

as usual, i began to think of the IFs and ARE U SURE?s. but the play was sweet and i kept thinking "it's nothing serious". thankfully, i had my hair in a ponytail and my room booming with the subtle romantic scent. we had the kissing and smooching going on. smhw, we got my tank top and his shirt out of the way. yeah! remember those toothpick muscles i wrote about. now, lemme enlighten u with the knowledge of his six-pack abs. mehn! they were friggin' chiseled. whoever invented Jeans is a G but whoever designed the bra that i had on is a genius. Kay! oh my. he tried to use one hand to unclasp my bra. i dunno know why he cudnt do it. prolly because he is not an expert or maybe because my bra read my mind. i wasnt sure if i was doing the rite thing with Kay but my flesh was giving in. i decided to assist the bobo undo my bra. my titties, full and eager, popped out to meet kay's lustful eyes. the look on his face said it all. oh well, my younglings(u get?) never fail at their job. they got an unfair share of play from Kay sha.

but really, i felt confident about moving on. u cant get my top off, ok Kay just did it! i mean, my door was not locked and i had someone perching with me who cud walk in anytime but i just accelerated my ish with kay. then, some roving fingers went down the inner part of my G-strings. i wont write whose? by reflex, i pulled out those fingers, i wasnt ready to go that far. on his third attempt, i freed the fingers and they did me justice. scratch! they worked it. scratch! they showed it wasn't bad for them to play with me.

when i smooched his rod thru his jean, i cud feel the its fullness, maybe fully erect. i dint know that was the cue Kay was waitiing for. the guy unbuckled his belt and offered me his manhood on an invisible platter of gold and a challenge to resist this beautiful creation. i tried running my 'massage' hand down it but Kay came to my rescue and put his hand over mine to teach me how to do it. i smiled. gosh! i was shy. like, i hugged kay and we ended up in the missionary position. my fone rang. bitch! by the time, i looked up, i met Kay pointing his rod at my face, like he was kneeling over. omg! i was liek naija shawty, see what u asked for? as he shoved the huge rod in my face, i mumbled uncomfortable. the guy just collected the 'ela' and resumed another play. i still tot it was for good. his fingers, i must write, are bad boys. with the caliente of the room, i shud have seen it coming, a condom. like really! this guy brought a CD. at that juncture, i knew i had overdone it. this time, way over the bar for him to think i was ready to get screwed. i restrained, hopped out and began to strap my bra, belt..... whatever. he got the gist. everything came to an end. shawty has done it again. is this fronting?

within 2mins, we put on our "nothing happened" face and he stepped out of my room.vi dint accompany him oh. it was like an unintentional payback.

on a serious note, i really like Kay. i just want things to take their own course w/out pushing it. b4 i do something i wud regret. at the same time, i don't want him to jump into a r/ship w/ me all for the sake of sex.

anyway, i wud rather go single than mess up.

ps: i have to go for a meeting cos i am at work, so i cant edit this post and have to leave out some parts. well, most of my posts are unedited

pps: i see Kay at least twice a day. thus, i can't avoid him.

happy loving blogsville!!!

when Kay attempted bringing it on!

oh Kay, my on/off crush. the guy come dey fumble. tryna play the fronting game w/ me. oh well. if u remember this encounter, i called him the next day. exactly 12pm. this jamo bobo dint pick. i was like, i no even send sef.

a couple of days lera, i was like lemme tease dis bobo a lil. ok, i'll confess. i went to the gym and guess who was lifting weights with some sezay toothpick muscles? Kay! i was just looking at him from above my mag w/ style. besides, i had a jamo joke to crack. scratch that! i was like that's a flimsy idea, he will start feeling wanted. voila! i needed something he had. in the process of borrowing and returning, we sha hung out like that. this time, in my room.

i know my room smells really nice but Kay was like it was so great and he went ahead to lay on my bed. i was like this guy! he sha joked around telling me to come close. i was like no! imagine i was seated on my visitor's chair and he was laid down on the bed. smhw, he sat on my chair and started pulling to come sit on his lap. like seriously? has he forgotten that it was in that position that i quit the last encounter. he was beginning to turn off his light in me..(grab?). that was the first time that we were talking abt the last encounter.

"kay, remember how the last time went? i dont want us to repeat all that awkwardness," i reminded him.

"I know, i stopped it," he replied confidently. i silently disagreed cos i was the one that pulled out.

"well, let's just stop. i know what i want," i really dint mean it the way i said it but maybe that was how i really felt.

then, he went like "you know what u want!" and he restrained.

i knew i made the right decision but the nite was still young. like bored college kids, we went to the next room, chatted up some folks and returned to my room.

oh Kay! we were both sitting on my bed and were randomly teasing each other. smhw the dicussion led to his back hurting him. pointer! before i cud say "jack robinson", he had hs midsection over my laps. what cud i do other than amateurly (sp?) massage his back.

"oh u're gud, get that spot, yeah gud..sweet," kay appraised my efforts amongst moan-like sounds. that was funny.

i cracked up and said, "u know the walls are thin, someone nearby wud be thinking something else if he/she hears you". i massaged his lower waist and patted his butt cheeks.

he giggled, "maybe u shud come down here(i tot that was pun-intended)"

i adjusted to lie down beside him. maybe the rest of the story can begin to write itself from here.

just kidding....i am at work...wud continue soon.

happy loving, blogsville!

some celebs just dont mind

incase u dont recognise these celebs. thats my sexy chikala, lil kim and the suprisingly hatless T-pain. yo faya!

i'm coming...... to update my kay's series oh

also...this new template is here, u aren't in the wrong place. enuf of looking at scofield's sexy face.

as for the adult content notification, i dont want to offend anyone. my recent posts may be offensive racially, emotionally and if u visualize what i write. but really, these are just the things an average shawty goes thru.

i may change but i remain a very good girl.

happy loving blogsville.

Kay's journey had a genesis!

(legit introduction of adult content)

i have tried finishing this post a couple of times but i cudnt get past the title. this was my first encounter with kay a couple of mths ago. i think i need to start his story from fresh before i write the latest long awaited post. sorry, the previous post was not an intended teaser.

Kay, this was when he was my crush!

my first sexual encounter with him was spontaneous. i got to a party and i saw him. we were so excited to see each other and danced together for 1 min. so short a dance. i was all over him in my mind. we coincidentally left at the same time and bade farewell to some friends. after the party, he invited me to his room to dance some more. My gut hinted that there was more to the invitation but i hoped for the best. some sexy temptation. what else was there to do anyway on a day with beautiful weather? we got to his room, which was so clean and i liked him more for that. everything, so simple, was kept in place. i asked for a drink and he gave me a bottle w/out a cup. at least, to be ladylike, i asked for a cup. he told me to juggle it. i did so, reignited my naija gulping skills and excused his lack of cup for his college kid status. he turned some music from his laptop and asked me for a dance.
"I like slow songs," he stretched forth his hand. i stood up. little did i know that he actually had ulterior motives. i was nervous and it showed cos i put my hands, in tight fists, on his chest.
"Relax," Kay said.
I mumbled something and synced with him in his slow dance.
then, Kay accelerated the dance to grinding. yeah, the reason for the slow music. from my previous posts, u must think i grind a lot. nope! i just happen to be around the activity's lovers. He arched me against a corner of his room walls and finished me. it was in that position that he started kissing me.

Like a supposedly gentleman, he took me to his bed and laid me there. all clothes were still on. kay turned off the lights and i started thinking today na today. He enjoys variety. I learnt this cos he turned me on the bed in different styles. how can one have so much pleasure only from smooching and caressing? i kinda did. well, that was what i thought. oh Kay, he took me up from the bed and urged to sit on his lap while he was seated on a chair. I tot that was becoming to get intense. i cud feel his pkg thru his jeans. yes, i was actually doing something well. we were still kissing. holy molly! from nowhere i had a rethink. wtf are u doing with this guy, naija shawty? this is some fulfilling mistake.
I started to restrain from the entire ish. he noticed but persisted.
"ummm, let's stop," i muttered.
he opened his eyes and continued but i backed out.
we stood up and straightened our clothes.
i was on my way out when he asked, "Did you come with anything?"
"I remember coming here with you," I replied.
he giggled and got me from the back with his pkg when i was about to open the door.
well, he does not relent.
"you are too much," I concluded with that and walked out.
oh, he didnt accompany me to my room. well, he is not my bf or date.
but i left there with an assertion, "I AM NOT A WEEKEND JUMPOFF but that was some sweetass makeout."

Kay was actually more immature than i thought. considering the fact that 80% of our friends were mutual, we were definitely gonna cross paths and i wasnt not gonna make the situation awkward. the next nite, i saw him at the cafeteria but we were seated at dfferent tables. two days lera, oh yeah. it was a monday. we crossed paths as i was entering the building he was coming out from. our eyes met and our lips were compelled to mouthread 'HI'.

how much more can this get? i tolly made sure he didnt make the ish awkward and we do not have to xplain some ish to any mutual friend. same monday, i saw him at lunch. we were seated at opposite ends of the table with other friends. i was on the phone with some intl caller thruout. Kay kept stealing glances at me. i felt them w/out looking up. I raised my head once and caught his eye. we smiled. the type of smile that read 'i know what you did last weekend.'

yeah, we reverted to like nothing never happened till this last monday, when the latest ish occured.

ps: i will post the second encounter soon.

Happy loving blogsville!