International LDR gone bad

As the year is coming to an end, I look back to a terrible emotional year. Very terrible, there have been times of joy but the dark periods overshadow those.

During the summer, I met a guy; let’s call him X.

Facts about X and I; there is a 15year age gap between us. Yes, I like ‘em older (*closes face*).

He is good looking, educated, supposedly comfortable financially; I mean he has a job. The only aspect of X that I didn’t like was his obvious Igbo accent.

Within two weeks of meeting, we were already in [great] like of each there. I wouldn’t call it love because I’m pretty sure that I was not head over heels in love with X, at that time. We never had sex but we made out a lot. So, I am still kind of a virgin (see bio). At the end of those two weeks in August, I resumed college and I had to come back to the states. We officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. We tried to keep in touch despite the time difference. He was caring and low-key jealous. I write low-key jealous because there was a time my FB profile picture was of a platonic male friend and me and he was complaining about that. I changed the picture for him though. X and I were not even in a relationship on FB.

This has been the farthest relationship that I’ve been involved in, in terms of distance. But I really liked X and decided to make it work. It was a plan for me to go visit him during my fall break, in October but that never happened. That was because he was to purchase my flight ticket but never did. He  told me that his money was tied up in an unfortunate business transaction overseas, four days before my fall break. I was pissed for a while, not because he couldn’t afford the ticket but because he led me on to believe that he was going to purchase it before dropping the bomb on me at the last minute. I had made plans for the October trip, done my hair, taken care of my academic responsibilities, purchased naughty lingerie, and mentally prepared myself of possibly losing my virginity to him. But hey, all those things were to no avail. After this incident, the relationship began to turn sour. The vibe was turning down but I still liked X a great deal.

He promised and swore to make it happen for my thanksgiving break in November. But the same thing happened; he claimed that there was no money still to buy the flight ticket. This time around, he told me two weeks earlier. Truth is that I had the money to purchase the ticket but I believe that the man should come see the lady first or make arrangements for the lady to visit him, otherwise. Also, I am a student and he is a 30-something year old worker.

After he told me about the November impossibility, X didn’t contact me again until two weeks later. Who does that? I was so pissed but I didn’t contact him either and you know lack of communication kills a relationship. I was already falling out of [great] like with X. when he resurfaced two weeks later, I told him off, low-key accused him of possibly seeing another woman, in his part of the world and he kind of hung up on me. Though, he remained apologetic during the whole period, I mentally broke up with him.

Then, I decided to call him two weeks after the annoying conversation with some great news. Great news = I will be in his city, from Jan 2011 for some months. He was excited about it and we behaved like nothing awkward had been happened between us. He promised to call me back the next day but he never did.

It has been a month, since then. X hasn’t called or even asked of me. Skype, he hasn’t logged into. His FB account is dead as usual. I definitely know we are no longer dating. But what have I done to deserve such an unfortunate relationship and uncertain closure. I still have some feelings for X.

Should I call him today? Or should I wait to get till I get to his city next month??

Or maybe I should just forget about him because it’s obvious that he really isn’t into me?

lesson: LDRs are really difficult to maintain. A very few work out tho. I don't think the first months of any r/ship should be long-distance. You really need to get to know each other before you start singing love songs to each other, over oceans and time zones. I remember lonely nights, painfully missing him and emotional skype dates. Wow, I don't want to be in a r/ship with X anymore tho but I just want to make sure that he is ok. 1 month and we've not talked, to imagine that my case is that of a silent break-up.

“women fake orgasms, men fake relationships”

pls comment.

ps: i know I'm tryna be sneazy, coming on here after a 5-mth hiatus

Eighteen and still a virgin.

In my blog bio, I describe myself as a semi-virgin because I have made all the popular 'adult intimate moves', besides anal and the infamous intercourse. The past two weekends, I have been involved with a guy intimately up to the point of his putting his dick in my punany but I just wouldn't let him because I was/am not ready.
    I am eighteen and I  had my first boyfriend before i was sixteen. So, I have found myself in several situations, where I tell the guy that I'm a virgin and cannot go any further. most of these guys were 20+ old and previously sexually active. Yes, I may have led them on and dropped the 'i'm a virgin that is not ready' bomb at the last point. Thank God, none of them have tried to forcefully fuck aka rape me because some erections can be pretty scary lol. This semester, I have talked a lot about sex with my gfs, sent nasty texts, watched porn regularly and imagined myself fucking. (sidenote, I know when I start fucking , I'll probably be a freak lol, let's wait and see). Yet, I cannot bring myself to do the main thing. The guy from the recent weekends asked if I was scared and I didn't answer because I wasn't but had no other reason to share with him.
    The truth is that I want to save myself until I'm ready for the banging business, not for that special somebody and not even marriage, just for my ready moment. From what I've seen, banging is pleasurable but I don't think I can keep up with the birth control pills, protection and dynamics of fucking. At the same time, I can't eat my cake and have it. My relationships grow but the sex is missing. I don't know if this recent guy is going to wait for me till I'm ready that's why I refused to make us official because I can't promise him my pussy in the near future.
    So, it comes down to this, most relationships are based on love, respect and sex. I can deal with the first two but the third still seems to be the missing link. I know yall are gonna be like if he loves me he'll wait but we are talking about sexually active grown-ass males here and I'm not ready. I may be blabbing at ths point, it is not because I don't want to lose him but I think the next relationship that I'll find myself in will have this same issue.
    As for now, I'm still keeping my pussy under lock and key  because I want to be ready to face the consequences, when i start playing the adult game.  My ready moment may be tomorrow, my 21st birthday or wedding night, who knows?

Relations with the opp. sex advice

So, my close friend met this guy and he added her on FB, a couple hours after they met. oh, they met at a party.  They communicated briefly thru msging. Then, my friend sends me a txt but he doesn't reply. well, the text was not a question, I guess. Is it ok for her to hit him up again?

How soon should she do this? Should she call him this time, or leave an online msg?

Now, I couldn't help her cos I expect the guy to do the initial calling for two weeks maybe. So, I was like she shudn't him but she likes him even though they don't reside in the same part of country.  I had two different responses. if it's America, she may hit him up asap but for Naija, just chill.

Ok, what do you think she should do? How do girls make moves?

The crush, suggestions needed.

So there's this guy, call him Lime, in my school. He's Nigerian-American and I'm Nigerian We don't talk but definitely know that we both exist i.e. we're aware of each other's presence on campus.

Freshman year, I disliked him so much that a friend and I used to call him 'Agbero'.

Soph year, I have a crush on Lime. too much, I rarely have crushes. Actually, this is like my third major crush ever and I'm really shy. He's single and I'm too. lol.

We don't really have mutual friends but we take this really big class of about 200 students together. How do I get us talking? My friends told me to just go sit beside him and start talking but he really doesn't come to class often and I don't really go either.

Don't tell me to get over it cos I really like him and I don't want to be crushed.

Suggestions for strategizing on this guy is needed?

Places that we cross paths: Class, Cafeteria, Parties.

Confession: I love me some good porn

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Speed Dating?

So, Ive been invited to speed date in a few days. here is a description from the Wikipedia

Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people. Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short "dates", usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization running the event.

We know pple meet thru crazy means these days, some couples even meet each other on FB. and women may even make the first move now?

By the way, I have to pay about $20 to participate.

If I go to this speeddating event, am I overdoing it?

PS: I am single, sexy, smart, ready to mingle and not expecting a miracle out of this event.

What do you think and don't tell me to do what I want to do? If you were my friend, what will be your take on this?

I'm berck! oh, I made out with a stranger

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just thinking.

to close or not to close?

that's the question.

some time in april, the purpose of this blog turned to telling the story of my love ish and all the things I cannot tell in black and white. as of now, that mushy mushy side of my life is not active and I have no apologies cos I have a reasonable standard and more priorities than to have some frolicking adventures. lol.

thus, I am thinking of closing my blog and maybe reopening, when a lucky motherfriggin dude lights up a spark or gets me to unleash my very sultry sexual being, if my blogging mojo is still intact. (?)

it was a fun e-journey with y'all

happy lovin'

I no run oh

So, it is only original mgbeke that noticed my hiatus. I came back cos of her. Infact, I don dey crush for her blog for sometime. ps, original mgbeke na woman oh. so u know the kind of blog crush that I have. her blog makes sense.

Anyways i have been keeping tabs on ur blogs but i may not have commented. why? u may ask.
puh-lease and pee-lizzz, why do u folks have word verifications on ur blogs. what does it do?
the only reason I can think of is that u wanna verify if the commenters are humans and not some aliens/animals. scratch that! we all are animals in some way or the other, infact straight up animals.
so, if i dont comment on ur blog, it may be becos of the inconvenience from trying to decipher the jumbled stuff called word verification, especially when I have to do it twice.

mehn, if u have not seen Chris breezy's public apology vid to rihanna. google it asap! haba, that ex-couple just getting my attn.

Plus, I check out girls nowadays. nothing more than that sha. You know when u see babe wey set and admire her outfit but me, I may check out her rack or tight butt. I hope I am not going lesbo oh. I hope not but come to think of it, I will have twice as more options if I am bi.

una men! wan fall my hand. as in some XY-chromosomed species have not been performing at all. ok pple, imma blog about my possibly lesbo roots(if any) soon. I saw on yinkuslolo blog, men wud soon be redundant, if stem cells can produce sperm. but can a tree fuck women?

In short, I will back to blog properly.

Happy loving, blogsville.

Chrihanna follow-up!

to be honest, i started paying attn to this couple( abi ex-couple) after they split up. did I hear a "free them jo!" ? hahahaha. Chris is shopping, RihRih is showing off her youngins(get?). Looks like RihRih has a new boo lol.

Got the info from theybf.com

buh fashi mehn, Chris is a smooth toy. looking all cute after effing up

Homeboy getting it with his supposed bff, teyana taylor at Diddy's all white parry

.

star-studded youngins, go RihRih

Ghosts of my Exes past!

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weight?

OK, take a look at your right and notice the "Fatbusters" block. Click on it to follow the link. Sting initiated the program. Kudos to her. The program motivates me to go to the gym regularly and watch the food I eat because I have had to record my weight every Friday for the past 6wks. I tried. I lost almost 10lbs. Season 1 is over and I am ready to put in more effort for season 2. You can join in too.



Back to my agenda of the post, I don't wanna be skinny but I frankly wanna avoid the description "fat". Tufia! I like to face reality. The curvier(not necessarily skinnier) you are, the more chances you have to be perceived as attractive.



Folks tell me I am not fat but the reason why I weigh so much is prolly because of my 38DD sized boobies and firm rounded butt cheeks. These accesories def weigh a chunk. I don't wanna lose them but I need a flat tummy to define them. If I become so slim, my boobies will look fake or outta place, like I got some enhancement or ish



Presently, I am a perfect figure 8. But I don't wanna reach the stage that I will be envisioned as the girl with a bunch of tires. I am working on that tummy/belly/stomach and later on..abs!


Hahaha, this pic makes me smile.
Happy loving blogsville

another "MJ is dead" post from a different angle

OK! within the first 18hrs of MJ's death, the blogs that newly posted had MJ as the subject. To be frank, I dint read most thoroughly cos i assumed the content(condolences and ish)

Over to Facebook, most if not all updates were about MJ's passing on. I have not probs with them but some status updates are just way too sentimental for me to read.

check out updates like

"Bob Marley, Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls, Elvis Prestley, Fela, Kurt Corbain, and now Michael Jackson. There ain't any living legends left... Jay Z, Elton John, and Stevie Wonder; beware"

BREAKING NEWS.... MICHEAL JACKSON IS NOT DEAD... HE WAS FOUND IN THE MIDDLE EAST YESTERDAY...AND GUESS WHAT .... HE IS NO LONGER WHITE... HE IS NOW AS BLACK AS .................the blackest thing u can think of.

That's just sad. The immaturity, not-knowing-when-something-is-serious and supposed humor of some people can be pathetic.

Over to the global music industry, some musicians are making tributes for MJ. Some of these musicians were even anti-Mj during MJ's lifetime.

RIP MJ and thank you for inspiring my successful artists.

PS: I did not know Farrah Fawcett until the news of her death. I hope she finds solace wherever she is.

confession time! fart?

oh Blogger!
My post just disappeared, unpublished for that marra.

ok! my intended post:
I even forgot the title of my blog, "True Confessions."

I had a bagel and coffee this morning.

5 mins to a meeting, I felt a possibly loud fart travelling down my pelvic. For dignity sake! that fart came at a wrong timing. Like my colleagues were hovering around my table checking a mag, so they were really close. I don't like when pple fart around me, except it doesn't smell. Infact, I don't just like it all

I just contracted my hip muscles, forced a smile and prayed for the fart to stay in. But how does bagel and hazel-nut flavored coffee make u fart? na beans! I cudn't even stand up to excuse myslef to the bathroom sef cos the fart had reached the stage that once I change position, it wud pop.

I held the thing for 15 secs oh until something else diverted their attn. I jejely farted and spontaneously opened a nutri-gram wrap(to cover up the sound).

That's not even the funny part. one of my colleagues just made a joke publicly about a guy that farted loudly in the bathroom.

pheww! I narrowly escaped being d subject of a joke.

The Chrihanna verdict!

This happened earlier today.

[Live Stream from outside of courthouse has ended}

Chris Brown arrived to court just a few minutes ago in an all gray suit, his entourage, and his lawyers. Rihanna has not yet arrived but she is indeed set to be called to testify. Trial is set to start at 5p EST. There are whispers that Chris’ lawyers and the prosecution were behind closed doors this morning banging out a plea deal that could be announced very soon.

Keep it locked….

5:09p EST: Breaking from inside the courtroom: Chris Brown’s attorney

says a plea deal has been reached in the singer’s felony assault case.

5:11p EST: PLEA DEAL DETAILS: Chris plead GUILTY to felony assault. He gets 5 years probation and must check in with judge every 3 months. Deal for Assault charge

: 180 days of hard labor (like street cleanup) and ordered to stay completely away from Rihanna. He’s also been ordered to enroll in domestic violence counseling.

6:11p EST: Post has now been updated with a sketch of Rihanna who was in attendance. She only entered the court room after Chris left. Chris Brown is now a convicted felon–meaning it’s on his permanent record and he cannot vote or carry a concealed weapon. He must stay 50 yards away from Rihanna for the next 5 years. If they happen to be at the same event, he must stay 10 yards away. And vice versa. Chris will serve no jail time.

PS: Credit goes to theybf.com

Ok, NaijaShawty's side of the story. What can I say sef? This story has so much scoin scoin but the sketched sideview of Rihanna really cracks me up buh she still looks hawt/haute/hotttt.

Happy Mothers' Day! say what?

yes, i know today is fathers' day. fathers' day to the men, who deserve the title.

so, i just talked with my practical father, who called to check up on me and called me back cos i told her earlier that i was a kinda lonely. i use "she' cos i am referring to my mother.

my mother has been the one to fill both parental positions. i call her a "woman warrior." like the legendary "Fa Mu Lan", she has fulfilled both the maternal and paternal roles.

we grew up together and learnt how to play the game of life.
i remember the times I have been given the non-custodial parent form.
a form that is meaningless in naija.
a form that arouses all those suppressed emotions.
emotions that remind me of the paternal vacuum in my childhood.
shud i blame those officers. no! i shud blame the black sheep, my supposed father, of the male species for messing up.
no papa! shi kana(sp?)!

but i got a mama. the mama,
who has been best thing mother nature has offered me.
who told me that every good trait of mine is from her genetic blah blah, she's so proud of me

Shame to the man, who is but doesnt deserve to be called my father. but i recognise his effortless contribution to my success. becos at the back of my mind, i know i inherited some of his intelligent genes to be an outstanding A student.

to those who have fathers, who haven't been dumb-dicks like mine, lucky u! appreciate them cos i know the worth of what u've got. today is ur day to show ur dutiful fathers how much u love them.
and if by chance, u are in the same shoes as mine, move on like u were meant to have only one parent and appreciate ur mother.

so, NaijaShawty has a female, as her father in her life,
today, i say "Happy Mothers' day!!!"

adieu to Kay!

oh Kay! he tried to rock my boat. but i am sorry it dint work.
I have come to realise that, most guys that like me take steps similar to Kay's, such as
being too clingy: puhlease, free me abeg. Kay is not too guilty of this sha cos we jam on the road like we are mere acquaintances
awkward jokes, that are usually pun-intended: haha, this is Kay's specialty. if u know him like I do, u wud code his jokes v.well
seeking for closed spaces: an excuse to take advantage of a girl's vulnerability.
not trying at all to impress me or trying toooo hard to impress me: i am kinda traditional with this. i like guys impressing me unintentionally. i dont want guys who blab abt their achievements. okay, it seems Kay knows this. so, he doesnt even try at all

Reference: Most of my recent posts are epistles of my encounters with Kay.

I mean, we started to hang out one nite, after a long while. I admit that I may have been looking forward to spooning but Kay expected me to have sex with him. I think that is just ridiculous. Maybe I presented myself fuck-and-not-mind(get?) girl by going to the extent of taking my clothes off. I expected him to know the kind of my morale after 2 semesters of knowing each other.

Also, like most crushes, i am not feeling Kay anymore sef. seeing him too often and his creepiness with some other girls are just turn-offs. I have the feeling he still likes me cos he always has something casual to say to me indirectly.

I know I deserve something better, yes! and I can wait.

PS: My feelings are two-sided, I can go from tripping to nada in two seconds

Happy loving blogsville.

For Gossip Girl ardent watchers, feed ur eyes.

I learnt Little J ie jenny Humphrey in GG has a rock band in real life. she prolly got some skills from her GG father


haha, see chuck!
who knew he is this hot.

xoxo
u know u love him

maybe i need an apartment

u guys wonder why i need an apartment. not for privacy oh, ok something like that. this is not funny. the girl living next door brought her bf over. i mean, he just came 2 hrs ago and he is staying for the wkend. lemme just chill in my rum oh like a good girl. odikwa, impossible!

guess the babe's gf is banging her like there is no tomoro. how do i know?!? the walls are kinda thin, the bed is screeching and rising and falling moans are interrupting the movie that i am watching. like seriously? i think i can call dis live audio porn. presently, i mean lite rite now that i am typing this post, they are discussing sex. i hope this wud not continue thruout the wkend cos i need a clean head. i cant help buh picture the couple, i am sure there is a diff of 2ft btw their heights. ok, i am single and listening to a couple doing ish can only make emotionally smhw buh i am happy for the babe sha. she is catching her fun with someone she really likes. haha, i remember me and Kay.

yes, update on him. i have seen him a couple of times. early mormor today, i was like lemme go downstairs and do something. as in, i was in a short skirt, tank top, pantyhose, flip flops and unbrushed hair. so, i was semi-ready to go to work. who did i jam? Kay. i was just like "hey" and he mumbled something cos he was grubbing. i passed him but i cud feel his eyes behind me. so, i guess he was thinking "mi a nuh why she be cute" in his jamo brain.

college has so enlightened me, i am still a small girl oh. if i get an apartment, wudn't my life be much easier. on the other hand, my pocket wud not conveniently accommodate the rent's bill and i wud be bored or worse still, end up with a psycho housemate.

again? Kay wan fall my hand oh

my beloved readers, hopefully here is a part(prolly the end) to the gist, continued from here(teaser), started from here(genesis).

story contd....

massage over. we were entangled in the side-by-side position. by we, i mean Kay and I; by side-by-side, u better be thinkin' what i am thinkin'. our bodies fitted like two missing parts of a jigsaw puzzle. even if i had to taste the gum in his mouth. what kind of guy leaves gum in his mouth. well, Kay! odikwa, a risky guy dealing with a riskier shawty. for the record, Kay and I belong to the same school of thought that believes 'whatever is worth doing is worth doing well" damn! he is a great kisser. for an unhealthy %age of the time, we were kissing and it was fab.

as usual, i began to think of the IFs and ARE U SURE?s. but the play was sweet and i kept thinking "it's nothing serious". thankfully, i had my hair in a ponytail and my room booming with the subtle romantic scent. we had the kissing and smooching going on. smhw, we got my tank top and his shirt out of the way. yeah! remember those toothpick muscles i wrote about. now, lemme enlighten u with the knowledge of his six-pack abs. mehn! they were friggin' chiseled. whoever invented Jeans is a G but whoever designed the bra that i had on is a genius. Kay! oh my. he tried to use one hand to unclasp my bra. i dunno know why he cudnt do it. prolly because he is not an expert or maybe because my bra read my mind. i wasnt sure if i was doing the rite thing with Kay but my flesh was giving in. i decided to assist the bobo undo my bra. my titties, full and eager, popped out to meet kay's lustful eyes. the look on his face said it all. oh well, my younglings(u get?) never fail at their job. they got an unfair share of play from Kay sha.

but really, i felt confident about moving on. u cant get my top off, ok Kay just did it! i mean, my door was not locked and i had someone perching with me who cud walk in anytime but i just accelerated my ish with kay. then, some roving fingers went down the inner part of my G-strings. i wont write whose? by reflex, i pulled out those fingers, i wasnt ready to go that far. on his third attempt, i freed the fingers and they did me justice. scratch! they worked it. scratch! they showed it wasn't bad for them to play with me.

when i smooched his rod thru his jean, i cud feel the its fullness, maybe fully erect. i dint know that was the cue Kay was waitiing for. the guy unbuckled his belt and offered me his manhood on an invisible platter of gold and a challenge to resist this beautiful creation. i tried running my 'massage' hand down it but Kay came to my rescue and put his hand over mine to teach me how to do it. i smiled. gosh! i was shy. like, i hugged kay and we ended up in the missionary position. my fone rang. bitch! by the time, i looked up, i met Kay pointing his rod at my face, like he was kneeling over. omg! i was liek naija shawty, see what u asked for? as he shoved the huge rod in my face, i mumbled uncomfortable. the guy just collected the 'ela' and resumed another play. i still tot it was for good. his fingers, i must write, are bad boys. with the caliente of the room, i shud have seen it coming, a condom. like really! this guy brought a CD. at that juncture, i knew i had overdone it. this time, way over the bar for him to think i was ready to get screwed. i restrained, hopped out and began to strap my bra, belt..... whatever. he got the gist. everything came to an end. shawty has done it again. is this fronting?

within 2mins, we put on our "nothing happened" face and he stepped out of my room.vi dint accompany him oh. it was like an unintentional payback.

on a serious note, i really like Kay. i just want things to take their own course w/out pushing it. b4 i do something i wud regret. at the same time, i don't want him to jump into a r/ship w/ me all for the sake of sex.

anyway, i wud rather go single than mess up.

ps: i have to go for a meeting cos i am at work, so i cant edit this post and have to leave out some parts. well, most of my posts are unedited

pps: i see Kay at least twice a day. thus, i can't avoid him.

happy loving blogsville!!!